Effective Communication: What It Is and How to Do It
Updated June 24, 2023
Communication is one of the most important foundations in relationships, and this is especially helpful in romantic partnerships. However, communication shouldn't just simply be an exchange of ideas. It also has to be effective.
The term effective communication has been a topic in all kinds of self-improvement events because it teaches us how to speak successfully, and this is why it's also highly popular amongst those who are in a relationship. If you want to learn more, read on below to understand what it is and find out what we should do about it:
What is Effective Communication
In simple terms, effective communication is the ability to communicate efficiently and effectively. This becomes evident when there is understanding in the conversation and is characterized by the message being expressed clearly, completely, and with consideration to the receiver.
If you tie this to relationships, this is when both parties can convey each other's messages in a precise manner where there are no emotional turmoils that hamper the exchange of ideas and that both can clearly understand what's been conveyed.
If you want to know how to achieve effective communication and apply it to your relationship, here are 10 simple tips that you can practice.
Process Feelings First
Before you converse with your partner, you should have a clear head so that you won't get clouded by emotions. You can take a long walk to gather up your thoughts first, or you can work on an errand beforehand so that you can assess your concerns ahead. This will calm you down and prepare you for a non-heated and productive conversation with your partner.
Find the Right Timing
The right timing plays an important role here as well. Don't just lash out because this can be seriously damaging and ineffective. Instead, ask when your partner is free to talk. This will feel like less of an ambush and more of a mature move from you, so it's highly appreciated.
Verbalize Your Needs and Intentions
Never assume that your partner knows what you're thinking. As much as we sometimes wish that our partner could just understand us, this is pointless and would only disappoint you more if you have these kinds of expectations. That's why you have to express your needs and intentions clearly.
Use “I” Sentences
To not make things heated and defensive, using “I” statements is helpful. Don't use “You” all the time because it may feel like an attack. This is a much more considerate approach when solving things because you're simply emphasizing your concerns and not attacking your partner. This helps mellow things out as well.
Be Aware and Present
Effective communication also involves non-verbal cues. That's why you have to also be present while talking. Our body language is vital when you want to establish a safe space for your partner. Don't let distractions take over and be aware of nuances for a more fruitful conversation. Keep consistent eye contact for more connection and intimacy as well.
Listen Intently
You also have to intently listen because it's with this that you're able to understand better. You don't just hear what you're partner says. You have to listen presently too. This is so that you can digest what's been said. Thus, you can come up with an effective reply in return. In this way, it'll create an air of being understanding and warmth felt by both parties.
Think Before Replying
One of the reasons why a conversation stops progressing is because we often fail to think before speaking. This is crucial because we might say something we'll eventually regret. This is mostly because we're too emotional. So, if you feel like you're starting to get frustrated, hold your tongue. Keep things inside first, take a deep breath, and speak only when it's your turn and when you're head is clearer.
Ask Clarifications
Another thing that can help make conversations flow faster is asking questions when clarifications are needed. It's so often that we assume things without even asking that effective communication halts. Don't be afraid of asking. You're encouraged to do so because it's safer and better, thus validating both parties in general.
Acknowledge Feelings
Although there are times of disagreement, it's essential to still acknowledge your partner's feelings and values about things. You can always agree to disagree, but ultimately, you have to find ways to compromise. As much as possible, an end goal must be met. And while talking logically should be practiced, being emotionally available is not only a supportive move but sweet too, so don't hesitate to show this side as well.
Find an End Goal
The last one on our list is establishing an end goal. No matter what the goal is, you must try to search for a conclusion to make the conversation not only efficient but effective too. Let's say that you've reached an impasse and need to stop the conversation for the day - you can do this as long as both agree. Whatever the conclusion is, it should be agreed upon by you both. If you find an ultimate solution or compromise, then the better it is.
With these 10 tips, you'll have an edge every time you converse with your partner. However, effective communication is a two-way activity, so you'll have to let your partner understand and learn these techniques too. Sharing informative guidelines is one of the best ways to keep a relationship afloat, so establish teamwork and give these a try the next time you both need to have a conversation.
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