How Men Can Own and Communicate Their Feelings
Updated January 13, 2025
If you're like most guys, then chances are you have never learned how to express your feelings in an effective and mature way. Traditional norms have taught many of us to keep our feelings to ourselves and when we stray from this teaching, we will be perceived as weak.
But, what if having a way to effectively communicate your emotions is actually one of the strongest tools you can use in a lot of aspects of your life? Below we will talk about how the ability to articulate your feelings is one thing every man should learn about!
The Reason Behind Men's Struggle to Open Up
A lot of men still have that specific need to “suck it up”. They often don't have any open ears. To make things worse, it seems that people are not ready when men start to tell their emotions to them, and this is why a lot of men take things back and shut themselves down.
The negative responses men receive from people have led to men covering their emotions up and masking them with other behaviors. They will hold themselves back from talking about their insecurities. This, without a doubt, is a sad fact we all should face.
Why Men Need to Open Up Their Feelings
Surprising and hiding emotions is an unhealthy habit. It may lead to an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, and a greater vulnerability to diseases. When men have a safe and natural way to express their emotions, they can improve their overall health.
Not covering emotions will also help men improve the quality and honesty of communication. When you don't allow yourself to be vulnerable, you only show your ‘acceptable' side to others, and this will harm your relationships, whether romantic or not, in the long run.
Ways to Help Men Express Their Feelings and Emotions Better
Everyone has a different way of expressing their emotions. But, if you never learn how to do it properly, then you will find a lot of communication and relationship issues. If you want to figure out how to express your feelings in a good way, the tips below can be beneficial.
1. Identify Your Feelings
You will never be able to learn how to deal with your feelings when never learn how to identify them in the first place. It may sound very easy to do. But, when you are not familiar with the process, the whole thing can be surprisingly difficult.
There might be some emotions you think of as ‘unacceptable', and this is the reason why you deny them the whole time. If this is the case, take your time and slowly learn how to recognize all of the emotions that are present within yourself.
2. Accept Them
Whether it is because of the way we were educated or the interactions we have throughout our lives, there are certain emotions that are more acceptable to us. Whatever those emotions are, you should know that none of them are actually right or wrong.
Your feelings are simply a fact, and you should stop if you have been telling yourself otherwise. Rather than trying too hard to control what you feel, you should put your energy into your actions, which are the things you can do about those feelings.
3. Keep a Journal
Journaling can help you deal better with your feelings and emotions. It not only allows you to keep track of your feelings and put them in words but also helps you identify the root causes behind your moods and actions.
For example, when you feel jealous when your significant other talks about her coworker, you can ask yourself what is the driving factor behind that emotion and write the answer down in your journal. Spend a few minutes to do this every day and it will become a habit.
4. Express Your Emotions
When you don't learn to consciously express your emotions, it is likely that you will act on them. It might be surprising to you, but suppressing your emotions can actually make you become a more emotional person.
If you are not sure about when to express your emotions, you can give a head-up to the other person that the conversation might turn into a difficult one. Of course, you should be aware of the other person's condition and make sure that they are in a position to listen.
5. Don't Worry Too Much
Lastly, do not let your views on acceptable emotions get in the way of your learning process. If you feel that having a conversation about your emotions feels like putting yourself in the limelight, keep in mind that the goal here is to make a stronger bond with the other person.
The Takeaway
The society's demand for tough and rigid masculinity makes it hard for men to fully articulate their emotions. They have been told to “toughen up” their whole lives and this leaves them with the difficulty of switching the flip and starting a new habit of expressing their feelings.
But, once a man has obtained the habit of telling others about what they feel, there are a lot of benefits one may get. Thank goodness, there has been a shift in society that has changed what it means to be a man and allowed everyone to be equally expressive and vulnerable.
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